


The First 24

by mangocianamarch



Series: Le Livre de L'un par La Dame Marciana [6]
Category: Being Human, Being Human (UK), The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Crossover, Crossover Pairings, M/M, emo vampires being emo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-13 05:36:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/820597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangocianamarch/pseuds/mangocianamarch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not even a day, and already it's a mistake.</p><p>Companion piece to "<a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/819784">Change (In The House of Johnson)</a>".</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First 24

**Author's Note:**

> Rip off my clothes, throw me up against a wall and fuck me 5 ways to Sunday, I wrote another one. Dammit, Britchell/Mitchers, give mummy time to breathe, would you? Geez.
> 
> Companion piece to "[Change (In The House of Johnson)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/819784)".

The first 24 hours are always the hardest.

They’re also the most glorious.

The first time you open your eyes again, you see everything. Only this time, everything _means_ everything. It’s like going from a heavy old telly to a 41-inch LED screen. Everything is in sharp focus, in full colour, and is absolutely beautiful. It’s like the world has changed, not you. But really, it’s the other way around. The world is the same as it always was; hard and gray and cruel and cold.

You’re hungry right away. It’s natural. It’s our basest survival instinct. You need it, you _need_ to feed, or you’ll go mad. The first time your fangs sink into flesh is like the first time you actually start enjoying sex. The pleasure of it needs to build, but as soon as it does, it happens quickly. Your brain shuts down, and animalistic need to live kicks in. It forms the justification for you.

 And then the blood starts pouring into your mouth for the first time, and it’s like your first real orgasm. It’s hot and blinding, and the ecstasy of it hits you like a tidal wave. Just like an orgasm, it’s beyond your control. Your body takes over completely. It knows just how much it needs, knows when to stop, starts craving for more almost as soon as it’s over. And if you’re not careful, if you’re not prepared, you kill again.

And again. And again. And again.

And when your body finally gives up, you come back to yourself, and you’re standing in a sea of bodies, bleeding openly and robbed of futures, because of you.

All in your first 24 hours.

It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, Anders. You see me, and you think it’s a glamorous life, but I can’t even really call it a life. You see me with my youth, and my powers, and you think it’s all sexy and beautiful, but it isn’t. It’s not beautiful, Anders. _I’m_ not beautiful.

 _You_ are, and you shouldn’t be. You make a damn good-looking vampire, and I sort of always thought you would, but this isn’t right. You’re pale, and cold, and so fucking appealing.

It’s a nightmare.

You were warm, and full of life, and when you slept, I could hear your pulse. It was steady and calm, and it was comforting. It helped me to sleep most days, mostly because it made me feel like I wasn’t alone.

The way you practically pounced on me and ripped my clothes off and begged me to fuck you into next century after you’d woken up almost made me laugh. It was nice to know you hadn’t changed much. But I can’t help but think about what it might have been like if it _hadn’t_ been me there, if I hadn’t been the one to change you, or if I’d been stupid enough to let someone else take care of you. Would you have reacted the same way? Would you have jumped the first person who got too close to you?

Look at you. Standing there in the middle of your lawn, looking out at everything like it’s the first time you’re seeing it. The moon’s full and high tonight, and it’s shining on you, and you almost look like you’re glowing. I know better, but fuck, are you beautiful like this.

The wound on my wrist has healed over already. It doesn’t even look like you did anything to it. But I can still feel you there, I can feel your lips on my skin, I can feel you sucking, I can feel you drinking. I remember your eyes when that first drop of blood hit your tongue. You looked so surprised, but you needed it. You wanted it.

You didn’t stop.

I didn’t want you to.

I’ve damned you to hell, Anders. I’ve condemned you to a life where there will be way too much past to look back on, and absolutely no future to look forward to. I’ve turned you needy, and desperate, and ravenous. I’ve changed you into something more, and made you less than what you were.

I was selfish. I wanted to keep you. I loved you. You were mine.

I’m sorry, Anders. I’m so sorry.

I’m sorry that you’re dead. I’m sorry that this is what you are now. I’m sorry that you need me now, or else you’ll lose yourself and hurt your brothers. I’m sorry that I have to take you away. I’m sorry that you’re not Bragi anymore. I’m sorry that you’re stuck with me literally for all eternity, or at least until one of us gets run through with a wooden stake. I’m sorry that you’re living off of blood. I’m sorry that you’re about to lose everything. I’m sorry that I loved you too much to let you go. I’m sorry that I want you even more now than I ever did before.

I’m sorry that I love you, Anders.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Anders is also begging to be heard. Maybe even Ty. O.o
> 
> IT WAS ONLY A FIC, HOW DID IT END UP LIKE THIS, IT WAS ONLY A FIC, **_IT WAS ONLY A FIC_**.


End file.
